The Attendre Files: File 7

Every time I see this quote, I laugh from a good place because from my perspective it’s true. There is always that twinge of excitement when you meet someone new and there is possibility there. It’s hard to keep that excitement to yourself, if you have awesome friends like me. They understand when you spill the goods about a new possible Bae and they give encouragement when you have that “Never mind” moment. Dating these days, is a game of chess. Sometimes I’m good with my bluff and sometimes I get checked, its risky business.

As far as purity goes, one thing that I often struggle with, is when to reveal that I am saving myself. When do you share this information? I typically get a feel for what type of man I’m dealing with before I share this information. In my experience men that do not have serious intentions with you, will reveal that information very fast through their actions. I like to share this information in the beginning when a good opportunity presents itself. Most of the time doing this results in me getting my feelings hurt because I had the audacity to hope for the best. This process is tiring but I guess, it’s just a part of the game. Sex must be a hell of a drug.

The dating game has disappointed me lately and I feel like I have taken major L’s, lol. I believe that I am a good natured person, I love to laugh at life and learn from my experiences. So after a few days, I am able to laugh at the antics of my dating adventures and press forward. This shows growth for me because in the past I would normally sulk and ask, well what is wrong with me? The answer is not a damn thing! I/you are attempting to do something that is against the norm, it is something that sets us apart. Not a lot of people can handle that or are willing to see if they can handle it. I would have a lot more respect for some of the men that I have interacted with, if they were just honest with me. Just tell me that this is not something that you can do, instead of wasting my time. One of my biggest pet peeves is when my time is wasted because I am up front from the jump. In fact, it has been a constant struggle not to let experiences were my time has been incredibly wasted to make me bitter. I pray to not let these experiences harden me.

I have come to an understanding that I may not be every ones cup of tea and that is fine. This whole experience continues to teach me how to be patient and how to love myself. When I say, everything that I have prayed for in a mate, will be worth the wait, I believe that whole heartedly. Waiting is not easy and at times, I have to ask myself is this worth it or is this what I really want. As many times as I have wanted to quit and give in, waiting seems to keep winning in the end. I feel like I say this so much, that I am creating a fairytale, lol.

Another prevalent thought that I have about dating while saved and single (insert sarcasm here), is that I have noticed that when some men find out that I am saving myself and I show interest in them, they think I see them as Husband material. I have had a few situations that support this theory, insert eye roll here! I love that level of confidence but please slow your roll! There is still a process of getting to know a person before you make those assumptions. An interest or a crush on you, is just that. If I have had the patience to wait this long, please believe that I am not going jump the gun with just anybody. I haven’t been in the dating game for a long time, so I am positive that I still have some things to learn. BUT, I am pretty sure it doesn’t go, girl admits she saving herself for marriage, you are the husband, and we live happily ever after. Not a chance! There is still a standard that has to be met for both participating parties. Just get over yourselfJ

Through all the mishaps and learning experiences, I am still optimistic and enjoying my singleness. Even though we may get tired of being single, we must understand that it is not a punishment but rather a time to enjoy ourselves. There will be times throughout this journey where I/you may feel lonely or have a few off days. My advice for those times is to increase your amount of “self-care” activities. I will include some ideas below. Self-care is the best care! Yes, I did write this long post just to boost my favorite mantra: Treat yo self! If you don’t who will?