File 4

Today’s file is dedicated to a new podcast called Trill Tea which I have fallen in love with. I was very interested in episode 5 which is cleverly titled “You “Celi”bate, I’m Buying a Bit. I could not wait to share my reactions and the actual podcast on The Attendre Files.  The link to the podcast is below but please be aware that there is some choice language used, if that sort of thing offends you.

 Trill Tea Episode 5

I enjoyed listening to this episode and just jotted down some notes as I listened but I really did like the perspectives of the host and the guest. Before I dig in to my thoughts, I do want to say that I loved how the participants were able to have a mature conversation about this topic and still respect each other’s opinions.

Towards the beginning of the episode, the question was raised as to how much of a role did “Religion” play in the guest’s choice to be celibate. It just made me stop and really ponder on why I have made the choice to save myself. When I was younger, religion did play a big role up until high school. While in high school I did attempt to try and set some things in motion trying to fit in with some friends. But you know what, God blocked it! As I have gotten older I have a deeper understanding as to why I want to wait but it is not just directly tied to trying to please God. Shocker! It’s more of a personal choice now. That’s a conversation for a different file.

Amen, to God with the block of a lifetime!

But look, when they were discussing the reactions that they get, when telling women and men that they are celibate, I was like, yes Sis, that’s dead on! Women do tend to always say, “I wish I would have waited or I admire you for that.” And men, well sis let me tell you, it’s always a mixed reaction but most of the time they sit there in disbelief, lol. I guess just because it’s not a common thing in today’s society and then they are even more dumbfounded when I tell them that I have several friends that are virgins as well. I just laugh, sir get your ish together.

Ashley, I will say that one of the hardest things about this journey is seeing a fine man when your hormones are out of control, lol. Girl, I feel you! Seriously, for me the hardest thing is fighting temptation, especially when you want to say yes but you decide to stay strong. Reason always wins for me but I have been close to saying YOLO! Judge me not!

I also made a connection when they discussed being a Sapiosexual and was wondering if that is a common thing among virgins. Since I have never had sex, I don’t really know what I am missing.  I am lying, I know I am missing something very satisfying, lol. I am very attracted to intelligence because I love a man that can teach me something. That is sexy! Show me all sides of you, boo and if my crush is reading this right now, hey boo!

I can’t say enough, how much I enjoyed hearing the different perspectives because it was nice. There was no shame thrown, maybe a little shade when they started discussing the makeup tips and dude went on and on about loving a natural face. He got a major side eye from me on that but I was impressed with his answers about practicing celibacy. He doesn’t believe in marriage but when the right woman comes a long, that’s changing for sure and he is not going to know what hit him! Same goes for the young lady who says that she is mean, there is a man coming that will be willing to knock down those walls. Sometimes being mean is just a coping mechanism. At the same time, its ok to just not want to be with anyone.

Towards the end of the conversation, Amani gave a little nugget of wisdom because that just what Divas do ;) She stated, “If you are not whole, you can’t give away pieces of yourself.” Had me in my room, like “Yes, Sis speak that!” You can’t be out here just giving pieces of you away, you are the treasure. Only give the goods to people who deserve it. It doesn’t matter if that means saving yourself,being celibate or choosing the right partner, just make sure that you’re always solid.

Make sure you follow Trill Tea on Facebook!

If you would like to contribute in any way to The Attendre Files, please submit your thoughts to ssmarie1920@gmail.com

Major Key Alert! You will be worth the wait!

-Attendre

File 3

God often speaks to us through a variety venues, whether it is the Bible, other people, or just moments of clarity that we may have. Recently, I have had several moments of clarity about how to interact with men. I have seriously been seeing the same message in memes, photos, on TV, and through conversations with friends. So I am like, maybe I need to talk about it on the blog because a light bulb has gone off for me.

This message is simply the realization that there is a difference between interacting with a God fearing MAN and a man. I knew this before but for some reason, I get it on a deeper level now. As a young woman that is dating, I realize that there is a huge difference between the two. When you are dealing with a God fearing man there is a certain level of respect that they will have for you because they know you are a child of God. They don’t have time for games and more than likely, they know exactly what they want. A man of God understands that there are more ways to be intimate than just physically. I am talking about a man that will pray for you, stimulate your mind, travel with you, tell you when your're wrong, among many others things. Talking about it, just gives me chills and now I am sitting here like:

Where ever Bae may be, I hope that he is walking on the path that God has set aside for him. Who knows, he could find me on my path next week. Knock on wood, lol.

Honestly, when my/your man of God comes, he is going to recognize what you hold and see the God in you. He will understand your choice to wait until marriage because its you that he is after. He will not pressure you to make decisions that you are not ready to make and he will still be able to love you in ways that you could have never expected. Chills, again.

If you would like to contribute to The Attendre Files, please submit your thoughts, stories, videos to ssmarie1920@gmail.com.

Remember HusBAE will be the worth the wait as well.

- Attendre